I'm unpredictable. Like a goldfish.

Back to (what was supposed to be) the regularly scheduled programming. Daily report: Not so bad. I struggled this afternoon with the desire to snack endlessly, despite feeling not-hungry. I did give in here and there but not to the extremes I usually exhibit. But it was hard. I spent too much time just standing in the kitchen, staring at food, and waging war with myself.

I was amazingly productive - for part of the day, anyway. I worked outside a lot today and greatly enjoyed the sunshine and soft breeze. The best part was seeing the kids hang out and have a good time doing normal kid things. We got out the sidewalk chalk and pictures were drawn. Hopscotch was played. Battles were waged, won or lost. Gumballs were thrown. It was good.

I feel like I should be more excited about my day, or more pleased with my progress, or something. I just feel kind of apathetic about it. Better than being really negative, I guess.

I did do something new today. I unwrapped that exercise DVD, put it in, and worked it for awhile. I was willing to keep going, but Oliver decided I was finished about 25 min into the program. By then, I'd worked up a sweat, got my heart going, and generally felt like I'd done something good. My legs are feeling the burn. I'm pleased about this, but in a quiet way.

Last night went badly. Not in a food way, but in general. I ended up taking the migraine pills again. It's been a long time since I've taken them two days in a row like that and I think it really messed with me. I lost my ability to focus, to coherently converse, and to function beyond a almost-asleep state. I'm not sure if it was the back to back impact of the medication (though there's no contra-indicators about that), the lack of sleep, or some weird combination of everything. I will think twice, though, about taking the pills like that again. As a matter of fact, I got up about 4am with my head splitting again and opted for regular over the counter stuff. Those medications plus some sleep dulled it enough to make life bearable today.

I feel like I've permanently damaged my brain. I don't know why I feel that way. I just do.