I'm faltering. I haven't done my reading for the last few days. Today I gave in and just went with it all instead of trying to enact change. I'm tired. Frustrated. Losing hope that I can actually succeed.
I'd like to write about good things - and there are some from today - but I'm not much of an optimist in general, and certainly not tonight. The good things just don't seem as important right now. So instead, I'm just all whiny.
I wonder what's hanging around my neck and pulling me down. Possible answers include: 1. Total of 6 hours of sleep (interrupted), preceded by two nights of 7 hours or less. 2. Fighting off a migraine. 3. The cycle of failure is winning. 4. I feel like this is all some kind of void. I can't remember the point. 5. I've used up all my effort and am just phoning it in.
Probably, all those answers are factors in tonight's negativity.
One last ditch effort to end on an up-note: I kept in my breakfast range. I left food on my plate at lunch (a huge accomplishment for me). I had a reasonable dinner portion. I marked most of today's to do list as done. I got to hang with some of my favorite people.
Going through the list, I'm dismayed that in spite of this I still feel so lousy.
What do you all do when you're feeling this way? What makes it better? I'm open to suggestions.
When I feel that way, a good friend of mine usually gently reminds me that it will get better. That today is just today and doesn't have to be tomorrow too. I'm also often reminded that it is ok to feel this way, but to remember that feelings pass. I find when I continue to put one foot in front of the other, my wagon follows behind me.
ReplyDeleteI love the visual of "my wagon follows behind me." It's so very true. No matter how long it takes, or how many detours we take, the things we pull along with us just keep rolling along.
ReplyDeleteWhich made me wonder: how many useless things am I storing in that wagon? How many can I toss out, either making room for new things or just lightening the load?