The background.

Here are the low-down dirty facts:
I'm overweight.
I'm physically unfit.
I have a low energy level.
I overeat.
I am an emotional eater.

I think about food all the time. The upcoming meal. The dessert in the fridge. That snack that sounds so good, even though I'm not hungry. I eat until I feel so full I can hardly stand it.

It's a terrible cycle. I eat because I'm bored, tired, depressed, angry, upset, feeling out of control. Then, when the full feeling kicks in and the inital flavor rush is passed, I feel even worse. Sometimes I think that if I didn't have such a strong aversion to puking, I'd just binge and purge. The food sits there. In my stomach, yes, but more in my mind. In my heart. Knowing that I had some kind of goal and I failed. Again.

Over the years, I've done a lot of things that were bad for me. I drank alchohol to excess. I smoked cigarettes. I cut and burned my own skin. I've given up those things. But I haven't conquered all the reasons that has contributed to those bad coping mechanisms. Instead, I eat.

I don't want to feel enslaved by food anymore. I don't want to stay on this roller coaster anymore. Change is hard. So here I am.