Losing perspective. Or, I've forgotten how to see the positive side.

Yesterday was an amazingly impressive failure. Breakfast, lunch, and snacking went OK. Then I went crazy. We had tickets to a hockey game. I don't go to the games very often anymore.When I used to go, there was always a snack involved in the experience. Last night was even stranger - our tickets included food and drink at the lounge. I seriously overate. I'm pretty sure I ate two lunch portions for dinner. I usually struggle with dinner portions anyway but last night got very much out of hand. Part of it was the idea that we spent a lot of money on these tickets and I felt like I needed to justify the expense. At the cost of my diet changing efforts.

I had several hours to myself yesterday. I thought about putting in the workout DVD. It's been a long time since I've done it and I need to get back into a routine. But there are so many things that need doing at any given time. Instead, I opted to do some clean up. I got through the entire master bathroom - which I usually have to do in stages - and started organizing myself for us to leave on Saturday. It was time well spent and it felt good when I walked through those rooms yesterday/this morning. But by the time I finished, there wasn't time for the DVD. There's never enough time for everything.

I'm trying to see the success buried in all this. Before going to the hockey game I had done OK for the day. And I was wildly productive all day Sunday and Monday. I had an idea that I'd go overboard at the hockey game, and it felt a little less like compulsion and a little more like a foolish choice - and that's progress.

Truthfully? I'm awfully tired and not seeing much of a bright side. I feel overwhelmed by the things that need doing, the things that have been left behind, the pace I've set for myself the last few days. I joke about mainlining caffeine, but I'm honestly not sure what's keeping my eyes open. Or my mind sane. I'd like to add something happy and uplifting here, but I'm feeling a bit too bogged down. I'm just maintaining. It could be worse.