I haven't had a chance to post for a few days as we trekked out of town the other day. The preparing to leave plus the in town activities took up most of Saturday. Yesterday, we were busy with the tasks we trekked over here to accomplish. But today... today is a good day to post. Naps are happening, work is on pause, and the weather is gross.
I'm going to try to hit the highs and lows of the last few days. No particular order, just however they occur to me. I'm going to just go with it.
Saturday morning I was out of the house early. I didn't have time for my usual breakfast at home. Normally, given this schedule, I'd take the excuse to run through a drive through and grab something really bad for me (sausage mcgriddle, anyone?). Since I started a new breakfast program, though, I've successfully avoided all drive through breakfasts. Let's face it: there isn't much on a drive through menu that is 200 cal or less. Just to be sure, I took a quick look at the published calorie counts; not even the new oatmeal they're pushing is in the range unless you get it with no brown sugar, though the fruit/yogurt parfait would qualify (the sausage mcgriddle is over 400). To get around this drive through temptation, I've been really good about taking breakfast along with me. It keeps me honest. But I didn't have a chance to fix anything to go Saturday morning. My schedule required me to be out for several more hours, so just skipping it and going home wasn't going to work. In the end, I stopped at QT. I balanced my cinnamon roll purchase with an unsweetened tea (instead of coffee). More importantly, I didn't eat the whole roll. I'm not completely crazy - I know that half a cinnamon roll from QT doesn't belong in my breakfast regiment. But the fact that I could (and did) set that roll aside before eating the entire thing is significant.
I've "helped" myself in the past to stick to stated goals by just removing the food. For example, I'll decide I'm only going to eat half that small cone of ice cream from Dairy Queen. To make sure it happens, I throw away half before I even take the first bite. So I've stuck with the goal, but I ate everything I had. Saturday morning, I just set the roll aside. I didn't eat it all, I just ate a predetermined amount. An amount that was even reasonable. This is huge. This sort of experience is what makes me feel like change is possible. And, possibly, that change is actually happening.
Being here, away from home, it's sort of easier to avoid the constant snacking. My favorite foods aren't here. I could bring them with me or purchase them but I'm trying to use this as an opportunity to get better about the mindless snacking. The upside is that I've been forced to give up some snacking (or snack on fresh fruit instead). The downside is that I can feel the crazy snacking desire building. I know that what I want isn't here, and in my head I'm beginning to wonder about the best way to get what I want. It's like a growing itch. It's part of the reason why I can't seem to give up the bad stuff entirely. The more I say no, the more I want it. I think I'm going to need to acquire the snacks and make reasonable goals for myself, before I go off the deep end and just overindulge.
We went clothes shopping yesterday. I bought a new pair of jeans to replace the ones that developed holes last week. I picked my standard size up from the shelf only to find that they were too big. I don't know if it's a brand thing or smaller sized waist. I'm still feeling surprised by the whole experience.
There's more I'd like to add but the quiet good for posting time has ended and I'm giving up. Later.
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